The Musings of an Eccentric Diva

RANDOM MUSINGS























Yesterday I had the pleasure of smelling the breath of a man riding IN FRONT OF ME on the bus! He was talking on a cell phone, I'm surprised the damn thing didn't melt. OMG, it was horrible...shit smelled like hot garbage. The poor fellow sitting next to him looked like he wanted to cry, he had the window seat and he just kept turning his head. I thought the poor guy's head would do a 360 like Linda Blair's in The Exorcist, he was turning his neck hard to get away from that horrific breath. When the we reached his stop, he damn near ran off the bus. It may not have been his actual stop, he may have said "fuck it, I will walk the rest of the way". Damn, how could a person not know their breath is that bad? Doesn't he have friends? I'm sure that person on the receiving end of that cell phone could smell it too.

Labels: Random Musings, Random Rants

LOCKED UP AND WON'T LET ME OUT

Labels: Random Nonsense, Random Rants, Whatever Dude

OOPS I DID IT AGAIN!!!!

Sire O'Reilly has once again opened his mouth and inserted his foot in. He is under fire for mentioning the grand time he had at Sylvia's Restaurant in Harlem. He said quote "There wasn't one person in Sylvia's who was screaming, 'M-Fer, I want more iced tea". I'm sure this was an accurate observation but it didn't need to be mentioned either. Bill knows the Black community is gunning for him so anything he says regarding us will get a serious side-eye. He should've just shut up and digested his collard greens like any other patron, but in true asshole-ish fashion..he had to say this stupid shit. It is also said that he couldn't get over the fact the restaurant looked like any other New York City restaurant. Did he think the waitresses would come to the table dressed like Kizzy from Roots? Did he think the patrons would pull fiddles out of their work bags and dance a jig while waiting for their meals? Bill O'Reilly, I hope the time you go to Sylvia's the waitress serves you a nice tall glass of STFU.

Labels: Random Musings, Random Rants

IN YT NEWS

I know by now everyone has heard about Britney’s shitastic performance on the even shittier VMA Awards show. Why any adult still watches this crapola is beyond me…anyhoo. I had to view the video to see what in the world could this chile do to top all the other fucked up shit she’s done recently. What I saw was not nearly as bad as everyone made it out to be. They also kept referring to this “gut” she has now. Well let me tell you, I’ll take that ‘gut” she has anyday. Her performance was no worse than anything the former Badussycat Doll Nicole Sheringeraramala-lama-ding-dong or any other of the flavors of the month put in. It wasn’t typical Britney but she’s been out the game for a while. Don’t get me wrong, I ain’t defending this Travesty In Motion, she needs to be at home with her damn kids but the chick can’t move without the press breathing down her neck. If she would've had a great performance, they would have still ridiculed her for something. I’ve always found her to be stiff and her voice to be annoying so this was no surprise to me.



Now this video here was an exception. I loved the song *runs and hides*. She looked her trantastic best (if it were not for her children I would still think she was born with a shenis) and she danced her ass off for a YT chick. Come back to mediocrity Shitney.

Labels: Random Musings, Random Rants

RANDOM UGLY SHOE















I'm back like cooked crack with another ugly shoe report. From the looks of things, I don't think I'll ever run out of shoes to expose. Next up is the Birkenstock. It's the shoe of choice for the braless tree-hugger on a mission. You gotta be comfortable when you're out scouting abortion clinics to bomb. This shoe makes even the smallest foot look like a Sasquatch foot. The nerve of this company to charge $80 for this piece of shit. It doesn't look the least bit comfortable. That ridge in the heel area can be murder, making the back of your ankle all red and shit. I don't know about you but suede footbeds leave blisters on the bottom of my feet, so I avoid them. This shoe is also unisex, usually worn by the tree-hugger's Hacky Sack playing boyfriend. Just double the fug.

Labels: Random Rants, Ugly Shoes

GARGOYLE FUN

She used to be my girl'cause you might not be the only, So never leave her lonely

Labels: Random Musings, Random Rants

RANDOM UGLY SHOE

So many ugly ass shoes, so little time. *Sigh*. The revolution to expose crimes of fashion will not be televised *pumps fist into air*. OK, most of us know exactly who wears this shoe. This piece of shit brings out the animal in horny, drunken fellas. It has got to be the unsexiest shoe I’ve ever seen. Maybe it’s because I’m not male that I fail to see the allure, I don’t know *shrugs*. It’s bulky, clumsy, awkward, and just plain horrific. This shoe reminds me of an upside down watering canteen, and the heel is the spout. The clear sole adds to the sheer fugliness. I know this season the lucite heel is all the rage again, but I think I’ll miss it this time around. Some of these clodhoppers have the nerve to be equipped with flashing lights in the heels…that just screams “Say it loud, I’m a skank and I’m proud”.

Labels: Random Musings, Random Rants, Ugly Shoes

WHAT IN THE COWBOY HELL??!?!??





















Lawsuit over 'Brokeback Mountain' in class

CHICAGO (AP) — A girl and her grandparents have sued the Chicago Board of Education, alleging that a substitute teacher showed the R-rated film Brokeback Mountain in class.
The lawsuit claims that Jessica Turner, 12, suffered psychological distress after viewing the movie in her 8th grade class at Ashburn Community Elementary School last year.
The film, which won three Oscars, depicts two cowboys who conceal their homosexual affair.
Turner and her grandparents, Kenneth and LaVerne Richardson, are seeking around $500,000 in damages.
"It is very important to me that my children not be exposed to this," said Kenneth Richardson, Turner's guardian. "The teacher knew she was not supposed to do this."
According to the lawsuit filed Friday in Cook County Circuit Court, the video was shown without permission from the students' parents and guardians.
The lawsuit also names Ashburn Principal Jewel Diaz and a substitute teacher, referred to as "Ms. Buford."
The substitute asked a student to shut the classroom door at the West Side school, saying: "What happens in Ms. Buford's class stays in Ms. Buford's class," according to the lawsuit.
Richardson said his granddaughter was traumatized by the movie and had to undergo psychological treatment and counseling.
In 2005, Richardson complained to school administrators about reading material that he said included curse words.
"This was the last straw," he said. "I feel the lawsuit was necessary because of the warning I had already given them on the literature they were giving out to children to read. I told them it was against our faith."
Messages left over the weekend with CPS officials were not immediately returned.

I wish people knew how to quit ignorance and stupidity. Since frivilous lawsuits are the bidness, I think I'll take The Wayans Brothers to court for last year's shitfest Little Man. I'm suing for emotional distress and would like to be compensated with 2 hours of my life back.

Labels: Movie Reviews, Random Musings, Random Rants

JOY AND PAIN






















The Eccentric Diva took the plunge and got cornrow braids over the weekend. I really wanted to try something different and also give my own hair a break. Originally I wanted really long cornrows braided to the back but I decided to go with a "braided ponytail" as the stylist called it. After 2 torturous hours, the job was complete. I'm pretty sure that woman grabbed the hair out of my ass and braided that in with the cornrows too, she left no strand free. Although I felt like my worst enemy attached a vice grip to my head and turned the crank at will, the finished product was gorgeous. The first night was rough, I could barely lay on the pillow. It even hurt to raise my eyebrows. I had to get my Meagan Good on and draw "permanently surprised" eyebrows just to look halfway cheerful. The second day was not as bad as the first but it still was painful nonetheless. I am in day four and this crap still hurts. Now I'm getting little bumps in the back of my head. I must say that I am enjoying the extra sleep in the morning since I don't have to style my own hair. Would I do this again? Hell yeah, I'm a glutton for punishment...what can I say?

Labels: Eccentric Diva, Random Musings, Random Rants

THE ECCENTRIC DIVA SAYS “NO” TO BOOTLEG FILMS

Over the weekend I had the pleasure of viewing several bootleg movies. Well I can’t really call it “viewing” or “pleasure” since I didn’t see shit. The quality of the movies were really poor and the sound was horribly muffled. I do not purchase bootleg films, not because I feel like the movie studios deserve their money either, I could give a less than a fuck whether they get their money or not, they still will be richer than my broke ass. Half the crap Hollyweird cranks out deserves to be bootlegged, it’s not worth the time or the money to sit in a theater to watch. The reason I don’t buy them is because they are a waste of my hard-earned dollars. I usually can’t decipher what I’m watching while viewing a bootleg. With the $5-$10 you spend on a bootleg, you can catch a matinee at a movie theater and pay that same $5 to see the movie with no hassle. In Cleveland, we have several theaters that offer discount nights for as little as $4 and free popcorn. Some bootlegs won’t even allow you to toggle between scenes or rewind and fast-forward the dvd….if you miss something, you have to go back to the beginning of the film..BANOODLES! If you are lucky enough, you may be able to score what are called “screeners”. These are early released viewings of films that are passed around to movie studios with hopes of being distributed. Its the actual film, not June Bug and 'nem sitting in the theater with a camcorder taping shit and Boomquesha and her girls giggling in the background. The downside of screeners is usually there is a message at the bottom of the screen specifying that it was not intended for public distribution….it’s nothing too terrible though. You usually can’t get a screener film for big budget Hollyweird crap…I find it’s mostly indie films that have screeners you can score. The big studio heads are very careful about letting their precious cargo leak to the public. I know people who have not been to a movie theater in years due to bootlegs. Ask those same people about certain scenes from a film and they are clueless, they had no idea what they were watching. I'd rather pay my $8 at the theater, purchase some stale bagged popcorn from the concession stand and enjoy my crapola film for what its worth. Oh, and you best believe I carry a big purse into the theater with snacks and drinks I bought from the local bodega...gotta save somewhere lol.

Labels: Random Musings, Random Rants

RANDOM UGLY SHOE


























I'm pretty sure these sneaker shoe thingys were created for the hooker on a misson. She can outrun her pimp Sweet Daddy and catch a trick at the same time. That's the only valid excuse I can come up with for anyone wearing these shoes. What everyday chick would be caught dead in these fuckers? Where's the logic? Sneakers are supposed to be comfortable! Only a man would create these medival torture devices. Although these are really no longer in style, I still see them every now and then on the feet of some unfortunate soul. If one of my buddies owned a pair of these, I'd play Treasure Hunt with them and bury them where she'll never find them.....like in the grave next to Jimmy Hoffa or maybe the same place where Susan L.Taylor's of Essence Magazine hairline disappeared to.

Labels: Random Musings, Random Rants, Ugly Shoes

RANDOM UGLY SHOE





















Spring is approaching and it's time for us ladies to put the boots away and get the crust scraped off our heels in preparation for sandal season. I have already started buying and let me tell you, I got some cute shit I can't WAIT to wear. But let my pump my brakes for a second to talk about what NOT to wear. These mofos pictured above are an abomination of womanhood and should be banned in all 50 states and provinces, including Puerto Rico. I am shocked at the staying power these cheap, tacky muthafuckas have....they have been lurking in the shadows for the last 6 years or so. The Eccentric Diva is all about one-stop shopping but I have to draw the line at buying my shoes from the same place I can get some hair, cheap lipgloss, cleaning supplies and Lion Of Judah wall pictures. I would walk barefoot on hot coals rather than wear these shoes. My daughter had a couple of pairs and I bit the bullet and tried on hers just to see if these shits were comfortable. Let me tell you, they SUCK! I could feel every bit of the pavement when I walked outside, and trust me..I didn't go far in them for fear of someone seeing me. If I want something comfortable, there are so many cute flats on the market now. Remember ladies, the devil is a liar and he makes ugly, cheap ass shoes too.

Labels: Random Rants, Ugly Shoes

RANDOM UGLY SHOE

How do I HATE thee...let me count the ways! Boy are these some terrible shoes. Every man at my job owns a pair. They will wear these bad boys until the sole falls off. In the summer time, men wear these ugly muthafuckas with no socks and shorts.... ankles all red and shit. Last summer at an outdoor Michael MacDonald concert, we actually counted how many fellas were sporting these shoes, let me tell you the number was well over 100! These shoes scream balding, middle-aged dad with a minivan, not sexy by any means. Women have "Mom Jeans" and these are certainly "Dad Shoes", what a great collaboration!

Labels: Random Rants, Ugly Shoes

RANDOM RANT: CRAZAY for EBAY






















EBAY is another one of my weaknesses. I just love scoring shit I don’t need for a fraction of the actual cost. I especially use EBAY for vintage clothing and shoes. My only complaint is I feel like the less I pay for an item, the longer it takes for shipping. I assume the sellers feel that since you paid under 10 bucks for something, you shouldn’t expect to get it in a timely manner. BULLSHIT! I won the auction, paid what was asked from me so I want my stuff PRONTO! I recently won this beautiful purple vintage dress on the BAY. I won the auction on January 19 and PAID on January 19. I just received my package yesterday, February 1st!!! WTF?? The seller was in freaking Indiana and I’m in Ohio! Now I’m no geography major but that’s not far from me. It should not have taken almost two weeks to arrive. I have received packages from California within 5 days using normal shipping methods. I’m very pleased with my purchase (the dress looks MUCH better on my body) and the seller even included a beautiful hand-written card. I guess I won’t leave her negative feedback. Sigh, I’m such a wuss!

Labels: Random Rants

RANDOM WTF: Shirley Q. Liquor

My best buddy in blogosphere Dareal sent me a link to some videos by a character called Shirley Q. Liquor. Shirley Q. Liquor is actually a white gay man named Chuck Knipp who dresses in drag to portray a southern Black woman that wears tacky clothes and hair, speaks with horrible grammar, and dons Blackface. Apparently this Shirley Q. Liquor character is very popular with gay and straight crowds and the live performances are sold out. Shirley makes an appearance on Rupaul’s last CD and has performed with comedian Tracey Morgan, formerly of Saturday Night Live fame. Not to mention, she has a 90 second radio segment predominantly heard in the Southern region of the US called the “Daily Ignunce”. Since becoming aware of this character, I’ve become somewhat fascinated by him/her. I watched all the videos on You Tube that were available and I came to this conclusion: If this were a Black man or woman portraying this character, it would be the funniest schtick in the world to me, but since Mr. Knipp is white, I cannot reconcile with myself that this is funny. I find the Shirley Q. Liquor character offensive and this is just another form of Blackface in my opinion. I LOVE offensive, off-color humor, and I consider myself highly open-minded but this one went right over my head. I really would be interested in knowing what others think after watching the video posted below.

Labels: Random Rants

RANDOM RANT- Stylin' and Profilin' in the Free Food Line

Alright I told myself I wouldn't become one of those angry bloggers who do nothing but bitch and moan in every post. That shit annoys me but if that's your choice, knock yourself out. But sometimes, there are things that are sooooooo aggravating to me, I need to get it off my chest.

Yesterday morning while watching my local news program, one of the top stories was that our mayor passed out food baskets to needy families for the upcoming holiday. Why were there some sistas grinning in the camera with fresh QUICKWEAVES and ROCAWEAR JACKETS receiving free food???? If you can afford designer jackets and visits to the hair salon, you can afford to buy food! I know my salon charges $65 and up for that procedure and those Rocawear jackets cost over $100. Shit made me mad! They were smiling as if it were something to be proud of. Now don't get me wrong, everyone falls on hard times so I am in no way condemning anyone for seeking help. If my kids were hungry and I had no other resources, you better believe I'd stand in line for free food. I'll give the sistas the benefit of the doubt by saying "Maybe a friend did their hair". But even if that were the case, the money you spent on hair could have went towards food. There is no excuse for that. Those donations could have went to a family that was truly in need. Why would someone take advantage of that? I would feel so bad if I received something for free that I truly didn't need knowing that there are others who do need it. FATWA Weavy Wonders, it is written!

Labels: Random Rants

RANDOM RANT: Workplace Baddie-The Touchy Feely Guy

OK y’all, The Eccentric Diva has a slight problem. There is a fellow in my office that is too “affectionate”. We used to have offices right next to each other and he would to come into my domain to chat and offer me sweets DAMN NEAR all day! Since our job has relocated to a new facility, his office is clear on the other side of the room and believe me, our floor is rather large. When we first moved, he would come over to my office, throw his arms around my neck every day and whimper “I miss you”. Since that has gotten old, he now comes to my office, touches my shoulder and walks away. Don’t get me wrong, the Eccentric Diva is a highly affectionate person, but only with people that I know and would welcome my touches and vice versa. Every time this man comes near me I cringe with anticipation of another “touch”. One day he was even bold enough to kiss my cheek! I actually like this guy, he’s a rather nice fellow but I don’t want him touching me all damn day. I assume he may be a bit lonely because he’s divorced but that ain’t my problem. Not to mention he’s a bit of a “loose cannon”, the day he comes into the office wearing a trench coat and carrying a duffel bag, I’m running the hell out of here. I hate to see the guy get fired for sexual harassment because he’s never been overtly “sexual” but I want it to stop. How would you handle it?

Labels: Random Rants

RANDOM MINI-RANT: Cable Television

Why is it that the best movies and shows on cable television come on at such ungodly hours??? I usually catch cool flicks while I'm getting ready for work at 6 am. I never get to see the ending because I have to leave the house to make it to the "plantation" on time! I sometimes have to scour IMDB to learn the outcome of a movie. They never rerun the damn film at a decent hour, you have to set your alarm if you ever want to see it again. What sucks is they show the same crappy ass film on four different channels when I'm awake or available to watch television. I pay darn near $200 a month for cable and high speed internet access and I can't catch a decent film??? I'm aware of DVR service but I'm too dumb to fool with that right now. Fatwa cable television, it is written!

Labels: Random Rants

THE REALITY SHOW MERRY-GO-ROUND

Reality shows have become the ilk of television to me. Every day some D-list celebrity is either rumored or confirmed to have a reality show in the works. For some celebrities, the reality tv show formula has worked for them. It revived an otherwise dead career. For others, reality shows have proved to sink them even further below the radar, even reducing them to court jester status. The new trend is recycled reality tv vets. We are seeing the same damn folks over and over again on different shows and networks. Just the other day I stumbled on some silly show on VH-1 called "Celebrity Paranormal Project". It's basically a show where they stick celebs into an allegedly haunted location, leave them alone and other celebs watch their reactions on a surveillance camera. How many times can we stomach Toccarra and her tittays, Gary Busey and his scary Chicklet teeth, and Hal Sparks with those same stale ass jokes? It hasn't been three years since these folks were on other reality shows. Hell, Hal Sparks' last reality show just ended earlier this month! We don't get enough time to even miss these folks! Shit, I feel like I'm being haunted by their asses! BOOOOOOOOOOOO for real!

Next up on the celebrity bandwagon, a new show featuring former Flavor of Love girls and Mo'Nique as the host. Now I don't know about you, but I certainly won't be watching this. I got roped into watching Flavor of Love Season 1 but I could not force myself into watching Season 2. I watched it all the way up until the chick shatted on the floor. I had to call it quits after that episode. That was buffoonery at its finest. I guess reality shows are a way for folks who have no real talent to get noticed by any means necessary. This is why it's important to make sure your children get a proper education so they won't end up on the reality show merry-go-round.

Labels: Random Rants

RANDOM RANT: No Homo????!!!???

I love to visit blogs. Hell I spend half my work day visiting blogs (shhh..don't tell my boss). One thing I've noticed in regards to the comment section of blogs is the phrase "no homo" written in parenthesis after a compliment is given to a celebrity. This phrase is used by both women and men commentators. I have read posts from men who will compliment a man on his shoes and put "no homo" behind it. What the hell is that about? Are people so afraid of being labeled gay that they need to make public declarations of heterosexuality from behind the computer screen? Who in the hell cares about your sexuality? I don't think people, gay or straight, visit blogs to make love connections so why would someone need to reassure people whom they have never met that they are heterosexual? Seems a little silly and immature to me. Why can't a compliment be given and it be just that? In 2006, we should be past all that shit, I guess some things never change. Maybe when I leave a comment on a blog I should put "no idiot" in parenthesis just so everyone knows I'm not an idiot. Fatwa "no homo's", it is written!

Labels: Random Rants