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The Musings of an Eccentric Diva

Welcome to the Musings of an Eccentric Diva. My motto is: Giving Hollyweird movies the finger one movie at a time. Enter at your own risk (insert evil Vincent Price laughter here).
 

Wednesday, May 30, 2007

RANDOM UGLY SHOE




















So many ugly ass shoes, so little time. *Sigh*. The revolution to expose crimes of fashion will not be televised *pumps fist into air*. OK, most of us know exactly who wears this shoe. This piece of shit brings out the animal in horny, drunken fellas. It has got to be the unsexiest shoe I’ve ever seen. Maybe it’s because I’m not male that I fail to see the allure, I don’t know *shrugs*. It’s bulky, clumsy, awkward, and just plain horrific. This shoe reminds me of an upside down watering canteen, and the heel is the spout. The clear sole adds to the sheer fugliness. I know this season the lucite heel is all the rage again, but I think I’ll miss it this time around. Some of these clodhoppers have the nerve to be equipped with flashing lights in the heels…that just screams “Say it loud, I’m a skank and I’m proud”.

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Friday, May 25, 2007

WHAT IN THE COWBOY HELL??!?!??





















Lawsuit over 'Brokeback Mountain' in class

CHICAGO (AP) — A girl and her grandparents have sued the Chicago Board of Education, alleging that a substitute teacher showed the R-rated film Brokeback Mountain in class.
The lawsuit claims that Jessica Turner, 12, suffered psychological distress after viewing the movie in her 8th grade class at Ashburn Community Elementary School last year.
The film, which won three Oscars, depicts two cowboys who conceal their homosexual affair.
Turner and her grandparents, Kenneth and LaVerne Richardson, are seeking around $500,000 in damages.
"It is very important to me that my children not be exposed to this," said Kenneth Richardson, Turner's guardian. "The teacher knew she was not supposed to do this."
According to the lawsuit filed Friday in Cook County Circuit Court, the video was shown without permission from the students' parents and guardians.
The lawsuit also names Ashburn Principal Jewel Diaz and a substitute teacher, referred to as "Ms. Buford."
The substitute asked a student to shut the classroom door at the West Side school, saying: "What happens in Ms. Buford's class stays in Ms. Buford's class," according to the lawsuit.
Richardson said his granddaughter was traumatized by the movie and had to undergo psychological treatment and counseling.
In 2005, Richardson complained to school administrators about reading material that he said included curse words.
"This was the last straw," he said. "I feel the lawsuit was necessary because of the warning I had already given them on the literature they were giving out to children to read. I told them it was against our faith."
Messages left over the weekend with CPS officials were not immediately returned.

I wish people knew how to quit ignorance and stupidity. Since frivilous lawsuits are the bidness, I think I'll take The Wayans Brothers to court for last year's shitfest Little Man. I'm suing for emotional distress and would like to be compensated with 2 hours of my life back.

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FRIDAY FLASHBACK JAM 2: Shout-Tears For Fears 1985

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FRIDAY FLASHBACK JAM: Crush On You- Lil Kim ft Lil Cease 1996



Vintage Queen Bee before she became the black Amanda LePore. She was so darn cute...just why Kim why???

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Tuesday, May 22, 2007

JOY AND PAIN






















The Eccentric Diva took the plunge and got cornrow braids over the weekend. I really wanted to try something different and also give my own hair a break. Originally I wanted really long cornrows braided to the back but I decided to go with a "braided ponytail" as the stylist called it. After 2 torturous hours, the job was complete. I'm pretty sure that woman grabbed the hair out of my ass and braided that in with the cornrows too, she left no strand free. Although I felt like my worst enemy attached a vice grip to my head and turned the crank at will, the finished product was gorgeous. The first night was rough, I could barely lay on the pillow. It even hurt to raise my eyebrows. I had to get my Meagan Good on and draw "permanently surprised" eyebrows just to look halfway cheerful. The second day was not as bad as the first but it still was painful nonetheless. I am in day four and this crap still hurts. Now I'm getting little bumps in the back of my head. I must say that I am enjoying the extra sleep in the morning since I don't have to style my own hair. Would I do this again? Hell yeah, I'm a glutton for punishment...what can I say?

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Friday, May 18, 2007

FRIDAY FLASHBACK JAM- 20 Fingers ft Gillette- Short Dick Man




This song would come on the club and everyone would lose their damn minds! I still love this song, even though I'm not interested in neither short nor long dicks *wink*.

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FRIDAY FLASHBACK JAM- Guy- Groove Me 1988




The last great R&B group IMO. Keep Jodeci, Shai, H-Town and whoever else...I can't really even name a song those cats sang....that entire R&B wave missed me.

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Monday, May 14, 2007

RANDOM UGLY SHOE

















I present to you the huarache. Huarache must be Spanish for "ugly ass shoes". This shoe is the choice footwear of immigrants from all over the globe. Don't believe me, go to any swap meet and check out the merchant's shoe game. They must keep a stock of these shits at the entrance of the Immigration Office. But wait, there's more...the huarache is also the must-have summer shoe for older Black gents, usually accompanied by black silky dress socks and a short set. Huaraches
are an equal opportunity offender too, worn by both women and men. Oy vey.

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Friday, May 11, 2007

FRIDAY FLASHBACK JAM 2: Con Funk Shun- I'm Leaving Baby 1985

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FRIDAY FLASHBACK JAM: The System-Don't Disturb This Groove 1987

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Thursday, May 10, 2007


MOVIE REVIEW: Just Friends 2005

High school fatty Chris Brander (Ryan Reynolds) is secretly in love with his best friend Jamie Palamino (Amy Smart). He and Jaime are inseparable and he is her comforter when things don’t go well her boyfriends. After a being the target of a cruel prank at a graduation party engineered by classmates, Jaime reveals to Chris that she has no intentions of the two of them being more than friends. This leaves Chris heartbroken and embarrassed. Fast forward ten years later and Chris is now a slimmed down, sexy and successful record producer living in Los Angeles. He’s no longer the sweet shy kid from Jersey, he’s now an asshole on wheels complete with blond bimbo pop singer girlfriend Samantha James (Ana Faris). In route to Paris for the Christmas holidays with Samantha in tow, his plane is forced to make an emergency landing near his home town. He discovers that Jaime still lives there and works at a local bar. Chris is determined to win the girl of his dreams but there are several obstacles in his way. Dusty Dinkleman (Chris Klein), an old high school rival, is still relentlessly trying to woo Jaime, the other obstacle is Samantha, she’s as equally bat shit crazy as she is stupid. Even though Chris looks great on the outside, inside he is still the bumbling geek he was in high school ten years ago. Does he have what it takes to get the girl of his dreams? No more spoilers from me y’all!

Under any other circumstances, I would not have watched this film, the Mini Eccentric Diva tricked me into watching this. I must say that I laughed my ass off too, imagine my shock and surprise! Don’t watch this looking for some deeper understanding of the meaning of life, it’s just stupid-fun entertainment. I’ve never thought much of the frat-boy antics of Ryan Reynolds, he appears to play the same character in every movie but I enjoyed him in this film. Ana Faris is a damn fool, she is hilarious as untalented pop star Samantha James. Her character is modeled after the Ashlee Simpson’s and Britney Spears’ of the entertainment world. The real scene stealer is Chris Marquette who plays Chris’ younger brother Mike, he is determined to score some punnany from his big brother’s superstar girlfriend…a riot! I was really surprised how much this made laugh, I guess I was in the mood for it. This film is not overly offensive with the exception of some lame gay jokes thrown in here and there so I guess this is ok for older kids to watch.

VERDICT: 2.5 Soul Claps

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Wednesday, May 09, 2007

I FOUND MY EVERYTHING

Yeah, I know..people post funny videos on their blogs all the time. This one is close to my heart though. I think I need to take a trip to the Philippines really soon, you can't find pimping like this here in the States. He's so cool he even has his own theme song. I think its the mushroom haircut that has me sweating. Move over Omarion, this cat may be taking your place. I present to you, my future Baby Daddy....Wang Wang. Lysol, you rock!


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Tuesday, May 08, 2007

THE ECCENTRIC DIVA SAYS “NO” TO BOOTLEG FILMS

Over the weekend I had the pleasure of viewing several bootleg movies. Well I can’t really call it “viewing” or “pleasure” since I didn’t see shit. The quality of the movies were really poor and the sound was horribly muffled. I do not purchase bootleg films, not because I feel like the movie studios deserve their money either, I could give a less than a fuck whether they get their money or not, they still will be richer than my broke ass. Half the crap Hollyweird cranks out deserves to be bootlegged, it’s not worth the time or the money to sit in a theater to watch. The reason I don’t buy them is because they are a waste of my hard-earned dollars. I usually can’t decipher what I’m watching while viewing a bootleg. With the $5-$10 you spend on a bootleg, you can catch a matinee at a movie theater and pay that same $5 to see the movie with no hassle. In Cleveland, we have several theaters that offer discount nights for as little as $4 and free popcorn. Some bootlegs won’t even allow you to toggle between scenes or rewind and fast-forward the dvd….if you miss something, you have to go back to the beginning of the film..BANOODLES! If you are lucky enough, you may be able to score what are called “screeners”. These are early released viewings of films that are passed around to movie studios with hopes of being distributed. Its the actual film, not June Bug and 'nem sitting in the theater with a camcorder taping shit and Boomquesha and her girls giggling in the background. The downside of screeners is usually there is a message at the bottom of the screen specifying that it was not intended for public distribution….it’s nothing too terrible though. You usually can’t get a screener film for big budget Hollyweird crap…I find it’s mostly indie films that have screeners you can score. The big studio heads are very careful about letting their precious cargo leak to the public. I know people who have not been to a movie theater in years due to bootlegs. Ask those same people about certain scenes from a film and they are clueless, they had no idea what they were watching. I'd rather pay my $8 at the theater, purchase some stale bagged popcorn from the concession stand and enjoy my crapola film for what its worth. Oh, and you best believe I carry a big purse into the theater with snacks and drinks I bought from the local bodega...gotta save somewhere lol.

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Friday, May 04, 2007

FRIDAY FLASHBACK JAM 2: Once In a Lifetime-Talking Heads 1980




Beautifully strange video featuring my weirdo cutie patootie David Byrne.

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FRIDAY FLASHBACK JAM: Pass The Dutchie-Musical Youth 1982

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Wednesday, May 02, 2007


MOVIE REVIEW: EDMOND 2005

Edmond Burke is assigned to meet with a client for his dismal job armed with a piece of paper with the numbers "1:15" on it. When he arrives at the appointment, he is told that it has been abruptly rescheduled. That evening Edmond decides to leave his wife and suburban life for good and heads for the city. He encounters a door with the numbers "115" on it. Inside is a fortune teller who tells him that he is not where he belongs and the tarot cards read the numbers...you guessed it "115". After leaving the fortune teller, Edmond decides to have a little fun at the expense of some strippers and hookers. When discovering the market value of strippers and hoes are too expensive for him, he tries his luck at winning some extra cash by playing a Three Card Monty game with some street hustlers. When that doesn't pan out, Edmond goes to a pawn shop to sell his wedding ring for additional cash. Instead of hookers, he uses the cash to purchase a brass knuckle/knife combo. After leaving the pawn shop he runs into a man who promises to take him to score some cooch...but when he arrives, alas it's all trick and no treat. Edmond then meets waitress and aspiring actress Glenna (Julia Stiles) in a restaurant and they go back to her apartment for sex. Afterwards, things go horribly wrong. This event creates a downward spiral for Edmond that descends him further into madness until he lands in jail. Will Edmond become someone's prison bitch or will he beat the rap? No more spoilers from me y'all.

I caught this film very late one night. I had to go to work the next day but I could not turn it off. Anything with William H. Macy in it will get my attention, I think he's awesome. He doesn't disappoint here. It was truly terrifying to watch his descent into madness. With each incident, his character gets crazier and crazier. I purposely left out a lot of details so I don't give too much away. The film also features George Wendt of Cheers fame, Bokeem "Muthafuckin" Woodbine, Bai Ling, Julia Stiles, Denise Richards, Dule' Hill, and Joe Mantegna. The scenes with Bokeem are some of the best in the film. I think this film chronicles how the dark side of an individual can lay dormant until something draws it out of them. Edmond on the surface is a normal fellow until he encounters the ugly, mean streets that expose him to racism, homophobia, and all the other horrors of urban America. Another great thing about the film, you get to see William H. Macy's nekkid ass...oh joy! The ending left me a bit speechless and was just as shocking as the rest of the film. This reminded me of another White man gone bananas film, American Psycho. I really enjoyed this and was pleased that I stayed up to watch the outcome. This contains strong language, use of the N-bomb and tons of violence, so please tuck the kiddies into bed before viewing.



VERDICT: 3 1/2 Soul Claps


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