The Musings of an Eccentric DivaWelcome to the Musings of an Eccentric Diva. My motto is: Giving Hollyweird movies the finger one movie at a time. Enter at your own risk (insert evil Vincent Price laughter here). |
Saturday, March 22, 2008 RANDOM UGLY SHOE Lawd look what we have here. The back of the shoe looks like pieces of curtain from a Louisiana zydeco bar. The front of the shoe looks like cut-up red cabbage with rabbit fur for embellishment. What the hell were they thinking when they created this shoe? I'm sure the designer was high...yup, pretty sure of it. With all that said, I would wear it because you wouldn't. Yup, I'm a kook. Labels: Ugly Shoes Thursday, November 15, 2007RANDOM UGLY SHOE 
Labels: Ugly Shoes Thursday, October 04, 2007RANDOM UGLY SHOE  Ladies, if you still have a pair of these in your closet, please deposit them into the nearest incinerator. That is all *drops microphone Randy Watson style*. Labels: Ugly Shoes Wednesday, September 19, 2007RANDOM UGLY SHOE  Someone needs to call PETA immediately! I knew this world was coming to an end, people are now making shoes out of stray cats...damn shame! They even used the poor fucker's flea collar for a strap. These boots makes my eyes bleed. The dollar store rhinestones complete the fug. Why must I cry? Labels: Ugly Shoes Sunday, September 09, 2007RANDOM UGLY SHOE  The latest in Frankenstein Couture. This shoe was all the rage at this year's Transylvanian Spring Fashion Show (I kid, I kid). These boots are usually worn by sullen, unattractive teens who have a hankering to hang around the local Hot Topic store. Usually accompanied with Kool-Aid colored hair and vampire-esque clothing. Labels: Ugly Shoes Friday, August 03, 2007RANDOM UGLY SHOE  Recently I thought to myself *Self, why are you so hard on the sista's footwear choices when the fellas wear just as much ugly shit as we do*. I then thought about what could possibly be the ugliest shoe a man could wear, I didn't have to think too hard. This shit is a disgrace. I've never been fond of genuine reptile shoes but this is out of control. Created exclusively for the brotha who wants to act out his Bishop Magic Juan fantasy. No man should be wearing pink or green shoes for any reason. This phenomenon is especially bad here in the Midwest (Stand up and respresent Chi-town, Detroit, Indianapolis, Cleveland playas). If I walk into a club and see one dude rocking a pair of these, I know that ain't the place I need to be..time to go home. These shoes fuck up my non-drug induced high. PS: Pimping I don't care how much you paid for them..they still ugly! Labels: Ugly Shoes Wednesday, August 01, 2007RANDOM UGLY SHOE  Not sure what the concept of this shoe is. It's a little bit sexy and a little bit Granny-fied. The jewled-snake ankle wrap is certainly not the business. Perfect shoe for Grandma to wear for her interlude with the nursing home's resident geriatric gigolo. The pale pink color will complement her sponge rollers nicely. This is just plain tacky ladies, please avoid at all costs. Labels: Ugly Shoes Friday, July 06, 2007RANDOM UGLY SHOE  When a bitch is too lazy to untie her shoes, she should just give up on life and footwear altogether, fuck it... just go barefoot. Here we have the shoe of choice for bored soccer moms across the US. The purpose of sneakers is to KEEP THEM ON YOUR FEET! Why even bother with shoelaces when you can just slide right out of these shits? I don't know what evil genius thought it would be a good idea to merge the clog with the sneaker, I guess we could call this a "cleaker". Labels: Random Musings, Ugly Shoes Saturday, June 16, 2007RANDOM UGLY SHOE  I'm back like cooked crack with another ugly shoe report. From the looks of things, I don't think I'll ever run out of shoes to expose. Next up is the Birkenstock. It's the shoe of choice for the braless tree-hugger on a mission. You gotta be comfortable when you're out scouting abortion clinics to bomb. This shoe makes even the smallest foot look like a Sasquatch foot. The nerve of this company to charge $80 for this piece of shit. It doesn't look the least bit comfortable. That ridge in the heel area can be murder, making the back of your ankle all red and shit. I don't know about you but suede footbeds leave blisters on the bottom of my feet, so I avoid them. This shoe is also unisex, usually worn by the tree-hugger's Hacky Sack playing boyfriend. Just double the fug. Labels: Random Rants, Ugly Shoes Wednesday, May 30, 2007RANDOM UGLY SHOE 
Labels: Random Musings, Random Rants, Ugly Shoes Monday, May 14, 2007RANDOM UGLY SHOE   I present to you the huarache. Huarache must be Spanish for "ugly ass shoes". This shoe is the choice footwear of immigrants from all over the globe. Don't believe me, go to any swap meet and check out the merchant's shoe game. They must keep a stock of these shits at the entrance of the Immigration Office. But wait, there's more...the huarache is also the must-have summer shoe for older Black gents, usually accompanied by black silky dress socks and a short set. Huaraches are an equal opportunity offender too, worn by both women and men. Oy vey. Labels: Random Musings, Ugly Shoes Tuesday, April 24, 2007RANDOM UGLY SHOE  Ah yes, the Jesus of Nazareth Meets Manhattan sandal. Originally this sandal was designed for the rugged terrain of a wilderness path. They are mostly worn by city dwellers and accompanied by thick wool socks. We all know that concrete is a bitch to navigate on, gotta protect those precious tootsies. This ugly shoe is usually paired up with the devil incarnate itself, the diabolical fanny pack. The fanny pack is hell bent on destroying the world, one bag at a time...you've been warned. Who's grand idea was it to create a SANDAL to wear for hiking anyway? Seems like having exposed feet would pose some kind of danger. SMH Labels: Random Musings, Ugly Shoes Monday, March 26, 2007RANDOM UGLY SHOE  I'm pretty sure these sneaker shoe thingys were created for the hooker on a misson. She can outrun her pimp Sweet Daddy and catch a trick at the same time. That's the only valid excuse I can come up with for anyone wearing these shoes. What everyday chick would be caught dead in these fuckers? Where's the logic? Sneakers are supposed to be comfortable! Only a man would create these medival torture devices. Although these are really no longer in style, I still see them every now and then on the feet of some unfortunate soul. If one of my buddies owned a pair of these, I'd play Treasure Hunt with them and bury them where she'll never find them.....like in the grave next to Jimmy Hoffa or maybe the same place where Susan L.Taylor's of Essence Magazine hairline disappeared to. Labels: Random Musings, Random Rants, Ugly Shoes Tuesday, March 13, 2007RANDOM UGLY SHOE  Spring is approaching and it's time for us ladies to put the boots away and get the crust scraped off our heels in preparation for sandal season. I have already started buying and let me tell you, I got some cute shit I can't WAIT to wear. But let my pump my brakes for a second to talk about what NOT to wear. These mofos pictured above are an abomination of womanhood and should be banned in all 50 states and provinces, including Puerto Rico. I am shocked at the staying power these cheap, tacky muthafuckas have....they have been lurking in the shadows for the last 6 years or so. The Eccentric Diva is all about one-stop shopping but I have to draw the line at buying my shoes from the same place I can get some hair, cheap lipgloss, cleaning supplies and Lion Of Judah wall pictures. I would walk barefoot on hot coals rather than wear these shoes. My daughter had a couple of pairs and I bit the bullet and tried on hers just to see if these shits were comfortable. Let me tell you, they SUCK! I could feel every bit of the pavement when I walked outside, and trust me..I didn't go far in them for fear of someone seeing me. If I want something comfortable, there are so many cute flats on the market now. Remember ladies, the devil is a liar and he makes ugly, cheap ass shoes too. Labels: Random Rants, Ugly Shoes Friday, March 02, 2007RANDOM UGLY SHOE
How do I HATE thee...let me count the ways! Boy are these some terrible shoes. Every man at my job owns a pair. They will wear these bad boys until the sole falls off. In the summer time, men wear these ugly muthafuckas with no socks and shorts.... ankles all red and shit. Last summer at an outdoor Michael MacDonald concert, we actually counted how many fellas were sporting these shoes, let me tell you the number was well over 100! These shoes scream balding, middle-aged dad with a minivan, not sexy by any means. Women have "Mom Jeans" and these are certainly "Dad Shoes", what a great collaboration! Labels: Random Rants, Ugly Shoes |
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