The Musings of an Eccentric DivaWelcome to the Musings of an Eccentric Diva. My motto is: Giving Hollyweird movies the finger one movie at a time. Enter at your own risk (insert evil Vincent Price laughter here). |
Saturday, March 08, 2008OH HELL YEAH! I will be the first person in line to buy my ticket for Iron Man. I was skeptical at first about Robert Downey Jr. playing the lead but he looks fabulous. I'm also glad Ghostface Killah got a small part in the film since his alter ego is Tony Starkes. Hope Hollyweird doens't let me down with another bad adaptation of a comic book hero (Nicholas Cage as GhostRider ILK!) Labels: Movie Reviews, Random Musings Saturday, March 01, 2008 MOVIE REVIEW: No Country For Old Men Llewellyn Moss, is staking out cattle when he spots several trucks parked in the middle of nowhere. Curiosity takes over and he investigates the scene. He discovers a bunch of dead people, a stash of heroin and $2 million in cash. Llewellyn flees with the cash but not before one of the victims asks him for water. He leaves the scene anyway but returns later that night with water for the victim. Llewellyn is spotted by bounty hunters and flees the scene once again leaving his truck behind. From there, the bounty hunters are able to track down his whereabouts and have hired a hitman named Anton Chigurh to find him. Anton is a virtually unstoppable coldblooded individual who will not let anyone or anything get in his way. Also looking for Llewelyn are grizzled sheriff Ed Bell, who also serves as narrator for the story, and another hitman, Carson Welles. Llewelyn forces his wife to leave town while he escapes with the cash. Will Llewelyn be hunted down by Chigurh or will he and his wife be reunited as happy millionaires? No more spoilers from me y’all! NCFOM definitely lives up to its hype, it was an amazing movie. Most consider this a modern-day Western flick, I guess that is an accurate description. The Anton Chigurh character was the scariest villain I’ve seen in a very long time, fuck Hanibal, this guy was much scarier. That wig he wore should’ve gotten its own Oscar, it was a character within itself. Javier Bardem really deserved the statue. It was bittersweet because Josh Brolin was wonderful as well and he was overlooked. Josh is fast becoming my favorite actor, he had a great year with Grindhouse, American Gangster, and NCFOM. Tommy Lee Jones gave another great performance as a world-weary sheriff, although he doesn't have screen time. The violence and bloodshed were not used sparingly so be warned, this is not a film for the squeamish. Also, the ending will come as a shock to most and a letdown to others. Moviegoers are so used to an ending that lays out each and every sequence of the film and gives explanations for everything that happened. I thought it was perfect considering what the true theme of the movie was. The scenery was great, The Cohen Brothers are known for that and they don’t let the audience down. When this film is released officially on March 11th I will be buying a copy, I can’t wait to watch it again. I won’t give away much more info about this film, just see it dammit! VERDICT: 4 Soul Claps Labels: Movie Reviews Saturday, January 19, 2008  MOVIE REVIEW: The Girl Next Door 2007When 12 year old David meets Meg McLaughlin, he is smitten right away. Meg,a pretty,outgoing girl is new to the neighborhood and living with Ms.Chandler and her family after she and her sister Susan loses their parents in an auto accident. The Chandler home is a hang-out spot for the neighborhood kids so Meg's presence in the house is a plus for David. What David soon learns is that Meg and her sister are subject to abuse and humiliation at the hands of Ms. Chandler and various others sources. Can he save Meg before the physical and mental damage do her in completely? No more spoilers from me y’all! Based on a true story, this film was so powerful it moved me to tears. I waited an entire month to see this film as it was on backorder from Netflix. The brutality the character suffered was very hard to watch and at times I had to turn away. This is definitely not for the squeamish but I think it is an important film that needs to be seen. I was shocked by the risk the director (Gregory Wilson, a brotha!) took by casting child actors for the roles, if the characters were played by young adults the impact would not have been the same. I kept reminding myself that most of the events that took place in the film really happened to a 16 year old girl and her story is considered one of the worst cases of child abuse in history. How anyone could be so cruel to another human being just escapes me. I won’t give away too much of the storyline here because I’d rather people see the film for themselves. Here is a link to the story of the real-life teenager of which the film is based on. VERDICT: 3 1/2 Soul Claps Labels: Movie Reviews Sunday, January 06, 2008 MOVIE REVIEW: I Am Legend 2007 Manhattan is Ground Zero for a plague that has eradicated everyone on Earth. The plague was created as a cure for cancer but it backfires. Dr Robert Neville (Will Smith) and his German Shepard Sam are the lone survivors. Neville is a US Army virologist who was at the forefront of creating a vaccine for the plague before all hell broke loose. He and his dog spend their days hunting for food and supplies in downtown Manhattan…which is deserted, overgrown with brush and inhabited by *cough cough* lions and deer , watching old newscasts and movies, exercising , and oh yeah…..protecting themselves from half-human, bloodthirsty night dwellers. The night dwellers are a result of the plague. Once nightfall hits, Neville must barricade himself inside of his home to protect himself and Sam from the creatures. Each day Neville goes to a bridge to broadcast a message that will hopefully draw survivors to his attention. In between foraging for food in the day and zombie watching at night, Neville diligently continues to come up with a cure to revert the night dwellers back to their human form. Will his vaccine work or will Neville become zombie bait? No more spoilers from me y’all! Alrighty! First off, I am not a Will Smith movie fan. Personally I think he’s awesome but as an actor I find him a bit too cutesy and corny for my tastes. The premise of this film has that been there/done that feel to it. When I read this was a semi-remake of The Omega Man, one of my favorite films of all time, I was even more skeptical. I think the one factor that got me to watch this is the last man on Earth being a Brotha (or something like that, we are talking about Will Smith here lol). take on the story. I should’ve followed my first mind, this filmed reeked. The first half of the movie was fine and it was really cool trying to figure out how they made Manhattan look so deserted. Will did a great job of showing how a person would react to loneliness and isolation. His costar Sam the dog was just AWESOME..the best part of the movie. Insert lions, deer and Will racing around in a brand new Ford Mustang ….sounds ridiculous, yeah but this isn’t even the worst of it…I was still mildly entertained at this point. Where they lost me is when they introduced the night dwellers. Those bootleg, dollar store video game leftovers were neither scary nor entertaining. They went WAYYYYY overboard with the CGI effects in this film, I usually skip these types of films altogether. I think the film would’ve been more effective if the zombies were portrayed by actors in makeup versus those stoopid CGI creatures. Also, there were lot of inconsistencies and things that just didn’t add up in this film from a logic standpoint which I won’t give away here. Towards the end of the film the audience is hit with a heavy-handed religious message that seemed to be thrown in at the last minute to cater to the Christmas season movie-going crowd. The ending of this film is a tanker altogether, for me it was not in sync with the rest of the storyline. If you want to close your brain for 2 hours and enjoy a totally mindless piece of drivel, then see this film…if you are part of the thinking crowd, save your money and rent the stellar Omega Man instead VERDICT: 1 Soul Clap Labels: Movie Reviews Tuesday, December 04, 2007  MOVIE REVIEW: Snoop Dogg's Hood Of Horrors 2006Snoop Dogg’s contribution to the horror anthology genre with a hip hop twist. Segment one-Crossed Out: Graffiti artist Posie (Daniella Alonso) runs afoul of some rival taggers. Trying to escape them she bumps into a mystical homeless man (Danny Trejo) who grants her powers of life and death. With her new found trick, she exacts revenge on her enemies one by one. Segment two-The Scumlord: A racist trust fund kid (Anson Mount) and his bimbo wife must spend a year in a squalid apartment building formerly owned by his deceased dad and now inhabited by Black Vietnam vets who have no other refuge. In true redneck fashion, he tortures and humiliates the vets until he crosses the line. Segment three-Rhapsody Askew: Sod (Pooch Hall) and Quon (Aries Spears)meteoric rise to fame as rap stars is cut short after Quon is shot and killed in a botched robbery attempt. Now a solo act, Sod is on top of the game again. But a few visitors from the past arrive to scare the “hell” out of him. Will Posie’s misuse of power cause her to be crossed out? Will Tex and his wife become casualties of war? Will Sod’s new-found fame as a solo artist grant him a one-way ticket to hell? No more spoilers from me y’all! Trust, I did not watch this for the Snoop element. Snoop is a one-man minstrel show, I’m so sick of him. I read somewhere this film was actually pretty decent besides the low budget so I decided to give it a try. Also what drew me in is the film was released by Xenon Entertainment, the company responsible for the Rudy Ray Moore classics such as Dolomite and The Human Tornado. The stories were a bit convoluted but I’m sure the writers were not going for Oscar-caliber dialogue, they just wanted to entertain. The movie begins with an anime cartoon retelling the story of how Snoop became the Cribkeeper. The Cribkeeper is the narrator of each story and appears along with his vampire bitches at the end of the segment to provide the moral of the story. Snoop looks ridiculous with blond French braids, this cat looks damn near 90 years old. Excessive weed smoking takes a toll on your looks I guess. The first story Crossed Out, did not make much sense but it featured one of the coolest death scenes I’ve seen in a while. The second story, The Scumlord, was the most entertaining of the series, it was a riot and it was good to see Ernie Hudson of Ghostbusters fame in a film again, he is aging gracefully (take notes Snoop). Anson Mount was hilarious as the evil redneck landlord. The third story, Rhapsody Askew was blah….nothing really memorable except a few funny lines by comedian Aries Spears. Jason Alexander (AKA George Costanza from Seinfeld) must have really needed a job, it’s hard out here for a blimp I guess. The gore element for this film was high, there were great gross-out moments and they were decently executed on a low budget. The anime also added a really cool touch. I went into this movie not expecting much and I got what I bargained for. I was entertained and I can certainly say it wasn’t the worst film I’ve ever seen. VERDICT: 2 Soul Claps Labels: Movie Reviews Saturday, November 24, 2007  MOVIE REVIEW: Who Made The Potatoe Salad 2006San Diego cop Mike (Jaleel "Urkel" White) is all set to propose to his girlfriend Ashley (Jennia Fredrique). Ashley accepts his proposal and they travel to meet her family...in South Central LA nonetheless. When they arrive they are greeted by her dad Mr. Jenkins (Clifton Powell), a former Black Panther type who hates cops because he spent time in jail for aggravated murder on a police officer, her loving mom Mrs. Jenkins (Ella Joyce) and her gangbanging, slang-talking brother June Bug (DeRay Davis) and a host of other unique relatives. Understanding that Mr Jenkins has no love for cops whatsoever, Mike knows he has to work extra-hard to prove to Ashley's dad that he's the man for her. Will Mike succeed or will Mr. Jenkins roast this "pig"? No more spoilers from me y'all! Ok, I will admit to being a quasi-movie snob so I had to be prodded a bit to watch this film by a source I trusted. Dammit I LAUGHED MY ASS OFF! Don't go looking into this movie for some deeper meaning because you won't find it here, it's strictly to make you laugh. Poor Jaleel will always be Urkel to me, regardless how much times he spends in the gym. I think that's what made this film even funnier for me. His bug eyes, goofy demeanor and boyish charm is still intact from his "Family Matters" days. Jennia Fredrique is a lovely lady and her face was instantly recognizable to me from her Brandy character on the LOGO channel show Noah's Arc. Clifton Powell plays a great baddie, his role as the dad who was "set up" by the pigs left me in stitches. But who really stole the show for me was Eddie Griffin with his small role as Malik, Ashley's incarcerated ex-boyfriend. It was interesting to see Ella Joyce and Clifton Powell, two former cast members from the great Fox show Roc play husband and wife, on the show they hated each other lol. The movie features several other comedians who you may recognize from tv such as Reynaldo Ray, Gary Owen, Michael Colyar, and Bebe Drake. I watched this film on Thanksgiving and it just so happened the film takes place during the Thanksgiving holiday. If you just want to laugh and not think a great deal, see this film. VERDICT: 3 Soul Claps (sad to say this was more entertaining than American Gangster) Labels: Movie Reviews Sunday, November 18, 2007 MOVIE REVIEW: American Gangster When Harlem gangster Bumpy Johnson (Clarence Williams III) dies, his driver Frank Lucas (Denzel) is slated to take over his spot as Harlem’s crime lord. Frank takes over the operation and enlists the help of his brothers and various other relatives from his hometown in North Carolina. Being the entrepreneur he is, Frank decides to cut out the middleman and import his drugs straight from Indonesia. The “product” he puts on the market just happens to be one of the purest forms on heroin on the street. He nicknames his product Blue Magic and Lucas turns his drug trade into a million dollar a day business. Frank is at the top of his game but honest cop Ritchie Roberts (Russell Crowe) is hot on his trail. Also complicating matters is a gang of crooked cops led by Detective Trupo (Josh Brolin) who shakes down Frank at any given time. Will Frank continue his reign in Harlem as drug kingpin number one or will he be taken down by the long arm of the law? No more spoilers from me y’all! Denzel is MY MAN, there is no denying that. He can turn a so-so film into a really entertaining one (Déjà vu). I will say I consider this another one of his so-so films. I am no advocate of drug dealers, I actually despise them but I think it was due time to see something of this magnitude on the screen. George Jung and Henry Hill (Blow and Goodfellas respectively) both had their stories depicted on screen, so it was time a Black dealer got his turn. While watching this film I saw a culmination of all the great characters Denzel played previously in this one role…I saw Alonzo from Training Day, I saw Malcolm X, and I saw Ruben “Hurricane” Carter. It’s almost like he’s becoming a caricature of all the roles his previous roles when I know he has more range than what was depicted here. Who really stole the show for me was Josh Brolin's character Detective Trupo. Josh is becoming the go-to bad guy for films lately, I need to dedicate a post to him because I'm truly digging him. Russell Crowe's Ritchie Russell character was straight boring, I guess they had to throw in the divorce scenario for good measure because it did nothing for the storyline. Cuba Gooding's small role as rival gangster Nicky Barnes provides one of the most entertaining scenes in the film. It would be nice to see real actors in movies instead of rappers, T.I. and Common had no place in this film except to draw people into the theaters, at least they gave RZA a real role. With the exception of the rappers, this film had a terrific cast. I don't know what I was expecting to see, but this film did not live up to its hype. It wasn't a terrible film but it was no epic either. Typical popcorn fare. VERDICT: 2 1/2 Soul Claps Labels: Movie Reviews Monday, November 05, 2007 MOVIE REVIEW: Saw IV Jigsaw is officially dead and gone and so is his last student Amanda. His mangled body lays on an autopsy table ready for the final curtain call in the sky. Inside of his body lies clues to another “game”, yes even in death, his “work” lives on. Detectives Hoffman (Costas Mandylor) and Rigg (Lyriq Bent) are assigned to figure out exactly which poor fucker is on his victims' list. Rigg has become a bit obsessed with finding Jigsaw because he has wiped out several of his fellow police officers. His hunt for Jigsaw and the missing Detective Matthews (Donnie Wahlberg from Saw 2) has eventually cost him his marriage as well. Jigsaw catches up with Rigg and makes him a part of his latest game. He has 90 minutes to find Detective Matthews and Hoffman or else his poor wife will perish. Meanwhile, Jiggy’s wife Jill (Betsy Russel) is brought into the police station for questioning and we learn more about how John the man became Jigsaw the monster. Can Detective Rigg reach Matthews and Hoffman in time before his wife becomes another casualty? No more spoilers from me y’all. Woo boy! Talk about an unnecessary mess! This movie has entirely too much going on for one film. There are about 15 different stories going on in this film. We have the story regarding John’s wife Jill and what led him down the primrose path. We have the Detective Rigg story and how he became obsessed with the Jigsaw case. We have 2 interrogating detectives who are involved in the search for Jigsaw’s replacement. Last but not least we have the barely alive Detective Matthews from Saw 2 and Detective Hoffman trapped in another “game”. It’s just too much. I don’t think I really cared to know as much as they revealed about Jigsaw’s former life, they touched on that in Saw 3. The killings were sparse in this one and not nearly as creative or gross. I think they need to stick a fork (or saw) into this series ASAP. I’m sure there will be another since there is a new Jigsaw which almost comes as no surprise in the end of the film. Lyriq Bent did a great job with the role he played, I would like to see him in something else. Direct-to-video king Costas Mandylor has finally lucked out to get a role in a major film, Bravo. Tobin Bell still gets plenty of face time in flashback sequences even though his Jigsaw character is dead. I wouldn’t say this is the worst movie I’ve ever seen but it certainly isn’t the best and it doesn’t do justice to the first two Saw films. I’d say skip it and wait for the dvd or better yet, wait until it comes on cable. VERDICT: 1 Soul Clap Labels: Movie Reviews Friday, October 19, 2007FIVE MOVIES TO "DIE" FOR Halloween is approaching and my yearly tradition is to pick a day and watch all the horror films I can stand before either puking or falling asleep. Usually the cable television networks hold their own "Horrorfests" where they show horror movies over several days until Halloween night. If you are a true horror fan like myself, you have seen what they offer many times over. It's always the usual suspects, Carrie, Halloween, Child's Play, The Omen etc. Don't get me wrong, these are great horror classics but goddamn, how many times do we need to see them? Here I present to you some films that you may have never heard of but are great nonetheless. Being the horror aficionado I am, the list was hard to narrow down but here goes in no particular order:     1. Audition- A lonely man gets more than he bargains for when he is introduced to a lovely young woman through a fake casting call. (in Japanese with subtitles) 2. High Tension- A psychopath breaks into a home and wreaks havoc on a family. It is now up to Marie, who was a visitor in the home, to rescue the last surviving member. 3.Blacula- Exactly what the title implies, a movie about a Black vampire. If you have never seen this Blaxploitation classic, give it a whirl...it's suprisingly very good. 4.Sleepaway Camp- Great 80's slasher flick about teens getting hacked up at a summer camp, and a little something *extra* added in to set it apart from the rest. heehee 5.Henry: Portrait of A Serial Killer- All I will say is this one is so frightening even I almost shut it off. Based on true events. Labels: Movie Reviews, Random Musings Wednesday, September 19, 2007  MOVIE REVIEW: I DRINK YOUR BLOOD 1971 A group of freaky acid-dropping, Satan-worshipping hippies led by “Indian” Horace Bones descends upon a small town. They find an abandoned house to seek refuge in to practice their rituals. The gang wreaks havoc on the townsfolk, leaving them frightened. After an older gent’s granddaughter was roughed up by the gang, he decides to take matters into his own hands. He confronts the gang and is nearly beaten to a pulp and forced to take LSD. His grandson exacts revenge by shooting a rabid dog and injecting the infected blood into meat pies he sells to the hippies. Once the gang gets a taste of those pies…all “hell” breaks loose. No more spoilers from me y’all! This has got to be one of the funniest, over-the-top, horror movies I’ve ever seen in my life. I truly laughed until I hurt. The rabid “hippies” were a multicultural motley crew of nonsense….there were a few White ones, the “Indian” leader, a Black dude, an Asian chick, a pregnant chick, a deaf mute HOLY SHIT! The racial stereotypes were so in-your-face that I couldn’t help but to cackle with evil glee. This is supposed to be a “zombie” movie but they moved entirely too fast and no flesh was eaten in the film which is typical zombie behavior. The infected folks just became very violent and lashed out with axes, tree branches, electric knives, and anything else they could get their hands on. You can tell who was infected by the froth coming from their mouths….it looked like either shaving cream or Alka Seltzer tablets, tres cheesy. For a *B* grade film, the acting was pretty good. The grandson did a great job for such a young actor and the old Asian chick was truly the scariest thing in the film, she gave me the creeps! It was apparent that the actors, especially the zombies, were either stage actors or dancers, their moves were so precise. There were some scenes that really made no sense, for example one of the hippies flee after her group members begin to transform, she encounters a group of construction workers and instead of asking for help….she BOINKS them all! WTF? The construction workers are also a part of one of the most hilarious episodes in the film….the scene looks like a Village People revival. The Black man looked more like a crack fiend than a zombie, oh wait….they are one in the same lol. Overall this was a great discovery and I enjoyed it so much, I plan to purchase it. This one ain’t suitable for all audiences; there are some animal killings (damn rats ugh!) and plenty of nudity and gore, although the gore is Film School 101 lame-o. VERDICT: 3 Soul Claps Labels: Movie Reviews Wednesday, September 12, 2007  MOVIE REVIEW: TuristasWhile vacationing in Brazil, a bus accident leaves American tourist Alex Trubituan (Josh Duhamel) his sister Bea Olivia Wilde), and their friend Amy (Beau Garrett) stranded in a remote location. Waiting for rescue they meet up with 3 other foreign tourists and decide to follow a foot trail into the woods. The crew discovers a beautiful hidden beach and a bar. They decide to indulge in the all the bar has to offer; drinks, dancing, and beautiful women. The next morning the crew wakes up on the beach to discover they have been drugged and robbed of all belongings including passports, jewelry, clothing etc. A kindly stranger named Kiko offers to help them find shelter until they can make it off the island. He suggests they hike to his uncle’s deserted cabin, which would require a 10 hour foot trip through the jungle. Before finding the uncle’s cabin, the crew again finds fun and adventure in the waterfalls and in a very cool underwater cavern. Once they reach the cabin, things take an ugly turn. Will they make it out alive or will they become jungle food? No more spoilers from y’all! I read many reviews of this film before I actually viewed it. I don’t really see why it was dogged out by the critics. It was no worse than the other garbage “horror” films that Hollyweird has cranked out lately. Same scenario… stupid horny kids doing stupid shit and paying the price for it. These films make White people look just as bad as Soul Plane makes Black folks look. I will give this film an A for scenery, the shots of tropical Brazil were breathtaking, the only thing that sets it apart from your average teen horror flick. The suspense takes entirely too long to build, you are mainly forced to watch attractive people running around in bathing suits having fun…hell I could watch an episode of Baywatch for that. The ‘scares’ don’t start until the movie is just about over, the money shot near the end was a bit of a letdown, I was expecting to be grossed out of my mind. What I saw I could’ve watched on any of the medical dramas on The Discovery Channel. There is a really cool chase scene that takes place in the underground cavern but again, it is dragged out much too long. The biggest letdown was having the audience believe they were going to view a “horror” film. Had this film been categorized as a suspense thriller I think the reviews would have been more favorable. Do I really need to tell y’all not to watch this with the kids lol? VERDICT: 2 ½ Soul Claps Labels: Movie Reviews Thursday, August 23, 2007Movie Review: Trick Baby 1974  Blue (Mel Stewart) and Folks (Kiel Martin) are two small time con men looking for the ultimate score. Blue is an older, seasoned con who has been in the game for quite some time and Folks is a newbie who looks up to Blue. Folks has a secret weapon that gives him an edge in the con game, he’s a Black man who looks White. His skin tone grants him a pass into circles that Blue could never infiltrate. Folks and Blue put the make on an elderly gent for $10,000, which in turn causes the man to have a heart attack once he figures out he’s been had. What Blue and Folks don’t realize is the elderly gent has ties to the Mafia. In the meantime, Folks has possibly engineered their biggest score ever for $150,000 with a group of wealthy real estate investors. Unfortunately the duo may not be able to cash in on this score because they must choose to either cop the cash or flee the city from the mob. No more spoilers from y’all! This film is based on the legendary book by Iceberg Slim of the same name. I have read the book and this movie only covers part of it. Nonetheless, I enjoyed it for what it was worth. It’s not your typical waka-waka Blaxploitation film, no hookers and pimps running around in ridiculous attire. It was just the story of two con artists looking for the perfect score and running out of luck along the way. The role of Folks was played White actor Kiel Martin, I guess they didn’t have time to locate a biracial actor to fill this role ehh? I’m not a big fan of remakes but I think this movie could get a proper overhaul by a reputable director. Overall I thought this was a decent film and a rarely-seen gem from the 70’s. Verdict: 3 Soul Claps Labels: Movie Reviews Tuesday, July 10, 2007  MOVIE REVIEW: The Watermelon Man 1970Jeff Gerber (Godfrey Cambridge) has a loving wife Althea (Estella Parsons), two beautiful children and a lovely home in a nice neighborhood. He is a bit of a health nut and a big fan of self-tanning. Jeff gets his excitement by purposely chasing the bus every morning that takes him to his insurance salesman job, where most of his coworkers dread his very existence. Yep, he seems very content in his close-minded, bigoted world. All that changes when he wakes up one morning to discover that he has transformed into…gasp…A BLACK MAN! Uh oh, not only does he have dark skin, he has nappy hair as well. Once Jeff realizes that he can’t remove his Blackness, he must learn how to accept and cope with his new ‘race’. No more spoilers from me y’all! I kept this review short because after Jeff turns into Soul Brother #1 the rest of the film deals with his transition. After 37 years, this film has lost none of its zing. I watched it with my 17 year old daughter and she laughed her ass off with me, I was pleasantly surprised. I have seen this film many times and I find something new each with each viewing. Directed by Melvin Van Peebles, this film was made before his pivotal Sweet Sweetback’s Badass Song. Although I like Sweetback for its artistic merit and the back story behind the film, I enjoyed The Watermelon Man much more. It pretty much has the same message without all the violence and sex of the aforementioned. The Watermelon Man is much more aesthetically pleasing from a cinematic standpoint and the transfer to DVD is excellent. Godfrey Cambridge was my man! I adore him much more than the Magical Negro that is Sidney Poitier and never understood why he did not get more films roles before he passed away. Although the very dark complexioned Godfrey did not pass for a White man, he did a great job with the material given. The pasty, peach-colored makeup and blond wig are hilarious. This is his movie and he certainly seems to be enjoying every second of it. His long-suffering wife Althea played by Estella Parsons is a great window dressing for the Jeff character. I’m sure in 1970 it was highly controversial for a White woman to kiss a Black man onscreen. One of the funniest scenes in the film is when Jeff goes to the “Black” store to buy beauty products such as Afro Sheen and Ambii, haha! Jeff’s journey is not all comical either, some of the issues he faced teaches him humility, something he once lacked. If you enjoy films similar to Bamboozled and Drop Squad, you will certainly dig this one. You can certainly watch this film with your older children, as I mentioned before, my 17 year old LOVED it. VERDICT: 3 1/2 Soul Claps Labels: Movie Reviews Friday, May 25, 2007WHAT IN THE COWBOY HELL??!?!??  Lawsuit over 'Brokeback Mountain' in class CHICAGO (AP) — A girl and her grandparents have sued the Chicago Board of Education, alleging that a substitute teacher showed the R-rated film Brokeback Mountain in class. The lawsuit claims that Jessica Turner, 12, suffered psychological distress after viewing the movie in her 8th grade class at Ashburn Community Elementary School last year. The film, which won three Oscars, depicts two cowboys who conceal their homosexual affair. Turner and her grandparents, Kenneth and LaVerne Richardson, are seeking around $500,000 in damages. "It is very important to me that my children not be exposed to this," said Kenneth Richardson, Turner's guardian. "The teacher knew she was not supposed to do this." According to the lawsuit filed Friday in Cook County Circuit Court, the video was shown without permission from the students' parents and guardians. The lawsuit also names Ashburn Principal Jewel Diaz and a substitute teacher, referred to as "Ms. Buford." The substitute asked a student to shut the classroom door at the West Side school, saying: "What happens in Ms. Buford's class stays in Ms. Buford's class," according to the lawsuit. Richardson said his granddaughter was traumatized by the movie and had to undergo psychological treatment and counseling. In 2005, Richardson complained to school administrators about reading material that he said included curse words. "This was the last straw," he said. "I feel the lawsuit was necessary because of the warning I had already given them on the literature they were giving out to children to read. I told them it was against our faith." Messages left over the weekend with CPS officials were not immediately returned. I wish people knew how to quit ignorance and stupidity. Since frivilous lawsuits are the bidness, I think I'll take The Wayans Brothers to court for last year's shitfest Little Man. I'm suing for emotional distress and would like to be compensated with 2 hours of my life back. Labels: Movie Reviews, Random Musings, Random Rants Thursday, May 10, 2007  MOVIE REVIEW: Just Friends 2005High school fatty Chris Brander (Ryan Reynolds) is secretly in love with his best friend Jamie Palamino (Amy Smart). He and Jaime are inseparable and he is her comforter when things don’t go well her boyfriends. After a being the target of a cruel prank at a graduation party engineered by classmates, Jaime reveals to Chris that she has no intentions of the two of them being more than friends. This leaves Chris heartbroken and embarrassed. Fast forward ten years later and Chris is now a slimmed down, sexy and successful record producer living in Los Angeles. He’s no longer the sweet shy kid from Jersey, he’s now an asshole on wheels complete with blond bimbo pop singer girlfriend Samantha James (Ana Faris). In route to Paris for the Christmas holidays with Samantha in tow, his plane is forced to make an emergency landing near his home town. He discovers that Jaime still lives there and works at a local bar. Chris is determined to win the girl of his dreams but there are several obstacles in his way. Dusty Dinkleman (Chris Klein), an old high school rival, is still relentlessly trying to woo Jaime, the other obstacle is Samantha, she’s as equally bat shit crazy as she is stupid. Even though Chris looks great on the outside, inside he is still the bumbling geek he was in high school ten years ago. Does he have what it takes to get the girl of his dreams? No more spoilers from me y’all! Under any other circumstances, I would not have watched this film, the Mini Eccentric Diva tricked me into watching this. I must say that I laughed my ass off too, imagine my shock and surprise! Don’t watch this looking for some deeper understanding of the meaning of life, it’s just stupid-fun entertainment. I’ve never thought much of the frat-boy antics of Ryan Reynolds, he appears to play the same character in every movie but I enjoyed him in this film. Ana Faris is a damn fool, she is hilarious as untalented pop star Samantha James. Her character is modeled after the Ashlee Simpson’s and Britney Spears’ of the entertainment world. The real scene stealer is Chris Marquette who plays Chris’ younger brother Mike, he is determined to score some punnany from his big brother’s superstar girlfriend…a riot! I was really surprised how much this made laugh, I guess I was in the mood for it. This film is not overly offensive with the exception of some lame gay jokes thrown in here and there so I guess this is ok for older kids to watch. VERDICT: 2.5 Soul Claps Labels: Movie Reviews Wednesday, May 02, 2007  MOVIE REVIEW: EDMOND 2005Edmond Burke is assigned to meet with a client for his dismal job armed with a piece of paper with the numbers "1:15" on it. When he arrives at the appointment, he is told that it has been abruptly rescheduled. That evening Edmond decides to leave his wife and suburban life for good and heads for the city. He encounters a door with the numbers "115" on it. Inside is a fortune teller who tells him that he is not where he belongs and the tarot cards read the numbers...you guessed it "115". After leaving the fortune teller, Edmond decides to have a little fun at the expense of some strippers and hookers. When discovering the market value of strippers and hoes are too expensive for him, he tries his luck at winning some extra cash by playing a Three Card Monty game with some street hustlers. When that doesn't pan out, Edmond goes to a pawn shop to sell his wedding ring for additional cash. Instead of hookers, he uses the cash to purchase a brass knuckle/knife combo. After leaving the pawn shop he runs into a man who promises to take him to score some cooch...but when he arrives, alas it's all trick and no treat. Edmond then meets waitress and aspiring actress Glenna (Julia Stiles) in a restaurant and they go back to her apartment for sex. Afterwards, things go horribly wrong. This event creates a downward spiral for Edmond that descends him further into madness until he lands in jail. Will Edmond become someone's prison bitch or will he beat the rap? No more spoilers from me y'all. I caught this film very late one night. I had to go to work the next day but I could not turn it off. Anything with William H. Macy in it will get my attention, I think he's awesome. He doesn't disappoint here. It was truly terrifying to watch his descent into madness. With each incident, his character gets crazier and crazier. I purposely left out a lot of details so I don't give too much away. The film also features George Wendt of Cheers fame, Bokeem "Muthafuckin" Woodbine, Bai Ling, Julia Stiles, Denise Richards, Dule' Hill, and Joe Mantegna. The scenes with Bokeem are some of the best in the film. I think this film chronicles how the dark side of an individual can lay dormant until something draws it out of them. Edmond on the surface is a normal fellow until he encounters the ugly, mean streets that expose him to racism, homophobia, and all the other horrors of urban America. Another great thing about the film, you get to see William H. Macy's nekkid ass...oh joy! The ending left me a bit speechless and was just as shocking as the rest of the film. This reminded me of another White man gone bananas film, American Psycho. I really enjoyed this and was pleased that I stayed up to watch the outcome. This contains strong language, use of the N-bomb and tons of violence, so please tuck the kiddies into bed before viewing. VERDICT: 3 1/2 Soul Claps Labels: Movie Reviews Wednesday, April 11, 2007MOVIE REVIEW: Grindhouse 2007 Hey there folks! Since this was a double feature, I must do two reviews so bear with a sista lol.  First Film: Planet Terror (Story by Robert Rodriguez)After leaving work, go-go dancer Cherry Darling (Rose McGowan) accepts a ride from her estranged ex-boyfriend Wray (Freddie Rodriguez). In route their truck is hijacked by bloodthirsty zombies who snatch off Cherry's leg before her Wray can fight them off. A hospitalized Cherry is rescued again kung fu fighting Wray but discovers that she does not have a leg to stand on (enter drumroll here) to run from the zombies that have taken over the hospital. Wray creates a makeshift leg for her and together they flee. They meet up with other survivors in the town and prepare to square off with the undead. Coming along for the ride is bisexual doctor Dakota Block (Marley Shelton), who is fleeing from running from her undead psycho hubby, a couple of sheriffs, J. T., the owner of a gross bar-b-que joint (Jeff Fahey), and a set of crazy ass Mexican baby-sitters. After Cherry breaks her new makeshift leg, Wray hooks an AK-47 to her stump and she becomes a one-woman killing machine, complete with Matrix-style moves and blows some zombie ass to pieces. Will the motley crew survive the attack of the undead or will they all be eaten alive? No more spoiler's from me y'all!  Second Film: Death Proof (Story by Quentin Tarantino)Three young ladies get together for an evening of fun and drinks. They are celebrating Jungle Julia's *hee hee* (Sydney Poitier) birthday. While in the bar, they are being observed by Stuntman Mike (Kurt Russell), a Hollywood stuntman (duh) who has a taste for killing pretty girls in groups. Instead of a gun or a knife, his weapon of choice is a 1969 Dodge Charger which is virtually indestructible. The ladies leave the club and become Mike's latest road kill. Enter a new group of ladies whom Stuntman Mike has his eye on. Abernathy (Rosario Dawson) and her crew are celebrating the wrapping up of a film they were working on. Lanna (Monica Staggs) has her eye on buying a 1970 Dodge Challenger and asks the ladies to come along with her to check out an ad for a car she spotted in the paper. After viewing the vehicle, she convinces three ladies out of the group to help her coax the owner into letting her test-drive the vehicle but the real purpose is joyriding. Lanna is having a ball riding on the hood of the car until Stuntman Mike sees his marks and smashes his car into theirs over and over again. Will these ladies meet the same fate as the previous group or will they end Stuntman Mike's reign of terror? No more spoilers from me y'all! What a rollercoaster ride!!! I had the pleasure of viewing this film in a theater in New York City, and let me tell you, NYC folks are wild and crazy! It was the most fun I had at the movies in quite a while, I did not even mind the talking, it felt right at home with the sheer madness of these films. I think my date got a little bored after the second movie though *sorry luv*...in all fairness, this movie does clock in at 3 hours long! I didn't even mind the old dude snoring in the seat behind us, I was a little worried about the item he had in his mouth though, it looked like a ping-pong ball or something...a bitch was not in the mood to administer CPR at 1am! The first film, Planet Terror was a slam-bang, in your face style gore fest. Rose McGowan is almost unrecognizable from her "Charmed" days.... further proof that plastic surgery is the devil but she looked cute for a chick with a machine gun leg. Freddy Rodriguez as her vertically challenged ass-kicking ex-boyfriend was the hotness!!! Bruce Willis' cameo as the Zombie Leader was totally unexpected and he was not billed in the credits as appearing in this film. The action was nonstop and there was no room for boredom. Enter the second film, Death Proof. Let me start by saying that Kurt Russell looks fantastic for his age and he did a great job as psycho killer Stuntman Mike. The first group of ladies led by Sidney Poitier's daughter, Sydney Poitier *tres orginal* were very dull and I truly could have cared less about their fate. The second set of ladies were more interesting but the amount of useless dialogue made the movie drag. When the action heated up, it was worth the wait. Those chicks were badass! Besides the two films, there were hilarious fake movie trailers thrown in between films that were spoofs of 70's Grindhouse films such as Ilsa The Shewolf and Don't Look In The Basement...great touch! One of the trailers even had UDO KIER in it..my man! The setup was supposed to make the viewer feel like they were revisiting a sleazy 70's movie theater all over again. This opus was an ode to the fanboy or fangirl who has a love and appreciation of 70's schlock films....I'm sure a lot of people did not "get it" because they didn't understand. I got the message loud and clear because I'm a 70's sleaze fanatic, as you can see by some of the shit I review on this blog. I had a kick-ass time viewing this film and I will be purchasing this when it is released. This is without a doubt not for the kiddies so keep them at home and rent Happy Feet for them or something. This is Jungle Julia, the Eccentric Diva, signing off for now lol. VERDICT: 4 Soul Claps! Labels: Movie Reviews Tuesday, April 03, 2007 MOVIE REVIEW: One Week 2000Varon Thomas (Kenny Young) is on top of the world. He will soon marry his long-time love Kiya(Saadiqa Muhammad)and may be in the running to receive a prized promotion at work. His world is forever changed when he is notified by a public health center that he is on the "partner notification" list for potentially carrying HIV. A former lover has contracted the disease and has possibly passed it along to him. Not only is he on the list, but his best friend and roommate Tyco (Eric Lane) is on the list as well. Complicating the matters is a another former lover keeps showing up on Varon's doorstep at any given moment. Varon and Tyco go on a quest to find out exactly who has put them on the partner notification list. In the meantime, Varon's world continues to spiral out of control while an unsuspecting Kiya continues with wedding plans. Will Varon get the runaway bride treatment after Kiya finds out he has "The Package" or will the wedding go on as planned? No more spoilers from me y'all. Shot on a shoestring budget around the Windy City...I thought this movie was great. A perfect example of an independent Black film done correctly, regardless of the small budget. Yes, it's full of plot holes but I've watched big budget movies that were full of holes so I won't hold it against this film. I think this film would work well as a PSA regarding HIV testing on college campuses, it may be a bit too mature for high school audiences. The acting was good, not Academy Award level but decent enough to pull off the message they were trying to convey. There are also a few funny moments thrown in here and there. Originally I caught this film on B.lack E.mbarrassment T.elevision and I never saw it again and decided to rent it. It was great the second time around. This film features strong language, a lil bit of violence, and a great message. I would suggest if you have teenagers at home, you watch this film with them. VERDICT: 3 Soul Claps Labels: Movie Reviews Wednesday, March 28, 2007  MOVIE REVIEW: Bad Boy Bubby 1993Bubby (Nicholas Hope) is a 35 year old man-child who has never left his home and has never been exposed to radio or television. His mother (Claire Benito) is fiercely protective and threatens him with the fear of polluted air to keep him from venturing outside. Bubby's only companions are a pet cat and the cockroaches in his tiny home, which he uses for "experiments". Bubby's long-lost dad returns home to meet the son he never knew and is appalled at what he finds. Tragedy strikes and Bubby is forced out into the world with very little language, money, or clothing. He manages to get by mimicking the world around him. Bubby is picked up by several people who try to help him. He comes in contact with really compassionate people and some equally cruel ones as well. His remarkable adventures include singing with a rock band and becoming a guardian angel to handicap people. Bubby embarks on a spiritual and social odyssey that will either transform the man-child into an adult or further destroy him. No more spoilers for me y'all. Nothing I've read about this film prepared me for what I saw. I kept the review short because I want the potential viewer to be just as shocked and surprised as I was. This film was basically "Forrest Gump Goes To Hell". Both films have similar themes, a man-child thrust into the cruel world to make his own way but Bad Boy Bubby is much darker and twisted than Forrest Gump. I found myself laughing at some of the most bizzaro shit I've ever seen in a film, the director spared no expense in the shock value department. From an aesthetic point of view, the home Bubby shared with his Mom was so bleak....I could feel the walls closing in on me while I was watching, I was glad when he finally left that house. Great camerawork in the film as well. Nicholas Hope was highly convincing as Bubby, that man could not make me believe he is totally sane in real life, bravo! Claire Benito as Bubby's mom is truly terrifying...she makes the Joan Crawford portrayal in Mommie Dearest look like June Cleaver. The ending was a surprise and was a great ending to a great film. This film is peppered with strong themes such as incest, rape, nudity, and foul language and is not recommended for the faint of heart or the local cineplex dweller. VERDICT: 4 Soul Claps Labels: Movie Reviews Wednesday, March 21, 2007 MOVIE REVIEW: Dead Silence 2007 A large wooden box is left at the doorstep of Jaime Asher (Ryan Kwanten) and his wife Lisa (Laura Regan), inside the box is a creepy ventriloquist doll. Jaime returns home from picking up take-out for himself and his wife to discover that she has been murdered in a horrific manner. Crushed by his wife’s death, Jaime and the doll travel back to his hometown of Ravens Fair to bury his wife and to investigate her murder. He returns home to find his estranged dad has been paralyzed due to a stroke and the town virtually deserted. He is also surprised by a new stepmother (Amber Valetta), unaware that his dad had even remarried. Jaime realizes the key to Lisa’s murder is a scary urban legend regarding a woman named Mary Shaw (Judith Shaw). Mary was a puppeteer who owned a theater where she showcased her plethora of scary ass minions. She was killed by the townsfolk when a little boy went missing after he mocked her during one of her performances. Legend has it that Mary haunts the town of Ravens Fair seeking revenge and will sever the tongue of anyone who screams. Another obstacle Jaime faces is a detective (Donnie Wahlberg) who tailed Jaime into the town believing that Jaime was somehow responsible for his wife’s death. Jaime returns the dilapidated theater to square off with Mary and her minions. Will Jaime end the curse of Mary Shaw or will Mary end up wearing Jaime’s tongue around her neck? No more spoilers from me y’all! OK, I am not a big proponent of bootlegging movies but I wish I would have hit up the local bootleg man for this one. I could have scored this movie, Dj Drama’s latest mix cd, and a bag of Doritos for $10 bucks. This was not even worth me ironing my jeans to leave the house, I want my elbow grease back! Not to mention it was discount night at the theater and there were so many disrespectful teens in the audience, I wanted pull a Mary Shaw on every last one of them. I was looking forward to seeing this because it was written by the same guys who created the Saw movie franchise and Hostel, which are all great films. I can understand the need to do something different but at least attempt to make it enjoyable. The dolls used in the film were certainly creepy, they were the best thing going for this. The damn dolls had more life in them than the lead actor Ryan Kwanten who played Jaime. In retrospect, Donnie Wahlberg’s character did bring a few laughs to the table, but not enough to save this. The old theater in the film looked so Film School 101…complete with Dollar Store cobwebs and requisite collapsing floor. In summary I would say save your coins and wait until this shitastical mess comes on cable or skip it all together. This film is not recommended for humans, children, houseplants or cockroaches. VERDICT: WOOF! Labels: Movie Reviews |
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