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The Musings of an Eccentric Diva

Welcome to the Musings of an Eccentric Diva. My motto is: Giving Hollyweird movies the finger one movie at a time. Enter at your own risk (insert evil Vincent Price laughter here).
 


MOVIE REVIEW: Turistas

While vacationing in Brazil, a bus accident leaves American tourist Alex Trubituan (Josh Duhamel) his sister Bea Olivia Wilde), and their friend Amy (Beau Garrett) stranded in a remote location. Waiting for rescue they meet up with 3 other foreign tourists and decide to follow a foot trail into the woods. The crew discovers a beautiful hidden beach and a bar. They decide to indulge in the all the bar has to offer; drinks, dancing, and beautiful women. The next morning the crew wakes up on the beach to discover they have been drugged and robbed of all belongings including passports, jewelry, clothing etc. A kindly stranger named Kiko offers to help them find shelter until they can make it off the island. He suggests they hike to his uncle’s deserted cabin, which would require a 10 hour foot trip through the jungle. Before finding the uncle’s cabin, the crew again finds fun and adventure in the waterfalls and in a very cool underwater cavern. Once they reach the cabin, things take an ugly turn. Will they make it out alive or will they become jungle food? No more spoilers from y’all!

I read many reviews of this film before I actually viewed it. I don’t really see why it was dogged out by the critics. It was no worse than the other garbage “horror” films that Hollyweird has cranked out lately. Same scenario… stupid horny kids doing stupid shit and paying the price for it. These films make White people look just as bad as Soul Plane makes Black folks look. I will give this film an A for scenery, the shots of tropical Brazil were breathtaking, the only thing that sets it apart from your average teen horror flick. The suspense takes entirely too long to build, you are mainly forced to watch attractive people running around in bathing suits having fun…hell I could watch an episode of Baywatch for that. The ‘scares’ don’t start until the movie is just about over, the money shot near the end was a bit of a letdown, I was expecting to be grossed out of my mind. What I saw I could’ve watched on any of the medical dramas on The Discovery Channel. There is a really cool chase scene that takes place in the underground cavern but again, it is dragged out much too long. The biggest letdown was having the audience believe they were going to view a “horror” film. Had this film been categorized as a suspense thriller I think the reviews would have been more favorable. Do I really need to tell y’all not to watch this with the kids lol?


VERDICT: 2 ½ Soul Claps

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