MOVIE REVIEW: Dead Silence 2007
A large wooden box is left at the doorstep of Jaime Asher (Ryan Kwanten) and his wife Lisa (Laura Regan), inside the box is a creepy ventriloquist doll. Jaime returns home from picking up take-out for himself and his wife to discover that she has been murdered in a horrific manner. Crushed by his wife’s death, Jaime and the doll travel back to his hometown of Ravens Fair to bury his wife and to investigate her murder. He returns home to find his estranged dad has been paralyzed due to a stroke and the town virtually deserted. He is also surprised by a new stepmother (Amber Valetta), unaware that his dad had even remarried. Jaime realizes the key to Lisa’s murder is a scary urban legend regarding a woman named Mary Shaw (Judith Shaw). Mary was a puppeteer who owned a theater where she showcased her plethora of scary ass minions. She was killed by the townsfolk when a little boy went missing after he mocked her during one of her performances. Legend has it that Mary haunts the town of Ravens Fair seeking revenge and will sever the tongue of anyone who screams. Another obstacle Jaime faces is a detective (Donnie Wahlberg) who tailed Jaime into the town believing that Jaime was somehow responsible for his wife’s death. Jaime returns the dilapidated theater to square off with Mary and her minions. Will Jaime end the curse of Mary Shaw or will Mary end up wearing Jaime’s tongue around her neck? No more spoilers from me y’all!
OK, I am not a big proponent of bootlegging movies but I wish I would have hit up the local bootleg man for this one. I could have scored this movie, Dj Drama’s latest mix cd, and a bag of Doritos for $10 bucks. This was not even worth me ironing my jeans to leave the house, I want my elbow grease back! Not to mention it was discount night at the theater and there were so many disrespectful teens in the audience, I wanted pull a Mary Shaw on every last one of them. I was looking forward to seeing this because it was written by the same guys who created the Saw movie franchise and Hostel, which are all great films. I can understand the need to do something different but at least attempt to make it enjoyable. The dolls used in the film were certainly creepy, they were the best thing going for this. The damn dolls had more life in them than the lead actor Ryan Kwanten who played Jaime. In retrospect, Donnie Wahlberg’s character did bring a few laughs to the table, but not enough to save this. The old theater in the film looked so Film School 101…complete with Dollar Store cobwebs and requisite collapsing floor. In summary I would say save your coins and wait until this shitastical mess comes on cable or skip it all together. This film is not recommended for humans, children, houseplants or cockroaches.
VERDICT: WOOF!
A large wooden box is left at the doorstep of Jaime Asher (Ryan Kwanten) and his wife Lisa (Laura Regan), inside the box is a creepy ventriloquist doll. Jaime returns home from picking up take-out for himself and his wife to discover that she has been murdered in a horrific manner. Crushed by his wife’s death, Jaime and the doll travel back to his hometown of Ravens Fair to bury his wife and to investigate her murder. He returns home to find his estranged dad has been paralyzed due to a stroke and the town virtually deserted. He is also surprised by a new stepmother (Amber Valetta), unaware that his dad had even remarried. Jaime realizes the key to Lisa’s murder is a scary urban legend regarding a woman named Mary Shaw (Judith Shaw). Mary was a puppeteer who owned a theater where she showcased her plethora of scary ass minions. She was killed by the townsfolk when a little boy went missing after he mocked her during one of her performances. Legend has it that Mary haunts the town of Ravens Fair seeking revenge and will sever the tongue of anyone who screams. Another obstacle Jaime faces is a detective (Donnie Wahlberg) who tailed Jaime into the town believing that Jaime was somehow responsible for his wife’s death. Jaime returns the dilapidated theater to square off with Mary and her minions. Will Jaime end the curse of Mary Shaw or will Mary end up wearing Jaime’s tongue around her neck? No more spoilers from me y’all!
OK, I am not a big proponent of bootlegging movies but I wish I would have hit up the local bootleg man for this one. I could have scored this movie, Dj Drama’s latest mix cd, and a bag of Doritos for $10 bucks. This was not even worth me ironing my jeans to leave the house, I want my elbow grease back! Not to mention it was discount night at the theater and there were so many disrespectful teens in the audience, I wanted pull a Mary Shaw on every last one of them. I was looking forward to seeing this because it was written by the same guys who created the Saw movie franchise and Hostel, which are all great films. I can understand the need to do something different but at least attempt to make it enjoyable. The dolls used in the film were certainly creepy, they were the best thing going for this. The damn dolls had more life in them than the lead actor Ryan Kwanten who played Jaime. In retrospect, Donnie Wahlberg’s character did bring a few laughs to the table, but not enough to save this. The old theater in the film looked so Film School 101…complete with Dollar Store cobwebs and requisite collapsing floor. In summary I would say save your coins and wait until this shitastical mess comes on cable or skip it all together. This film is not recommended for humans, children, houseplants or cockroaches.
VERDICT: WOOF!
Labels: Movie Reviews
This entry was posted
on Wednesday, March 21, 2007 at 5:40 AM.
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