MOVIE REVIEW: Alucarda-1975A young woman gives birth to a child and hands the baby girl over to a witch to deliver to a convent to be raised by nuns. Soon afterwards, the young woman is overcome by some unknown force and killed. Years later a young "girl" named Justine (Susan Kamini) is orphaned and sent to live in the same convent. Justine meets Alucarda(Tina Romero), the baby who is now a young "girl", presumably the same age as Justine. Alucarda is now a strange, Gothic-looking chick with long dark hair and dressed in all black. The two girls quickly become friends and much more. While taking a romp in the woods, they encounter a hunch-back gypsy (Claudio Brook) who looks a hell of a lot like The King from the Burger King commercials, but scarier (if possible). The gypsy leads the girls to his caravan where a ritual/orgy is taking place. The girls flee and end up in a strange tomb where they encounter a coffin. Alucarda opens the coffin and some unseen evil force is released, possessing both girls. Seeing the change in the two girls, the nuns decide to perform an exorcism to rid the girls of the evil spirits. Will exorcism save Justine and Alucarda or are they doomed to hell? No more spoilers from me y'all!
I must say that I barely made it through this film. It was so ridiculous, I contemplated turning it off many times. I kept watching just to see if the film would get any worse. I found myself laughing at things that were supposed to be frightening. Most of the film was just plain fucking weird..and believe me, I dig weird stuff. I couldn't understand why they had women who looked to be pushing 30 playing "orphans" and why the nuns were dressed in what appeared to be bloody rags. There was a lot of unnecessary screaming in this film too, I heard the name A-L-U-C-A-R-D-A! yelled so many times, I thought my ears would bleed. The gypsy/Burger King was too damn funny, the director needs to sue Burger King for copyright infringement. I also could not understand why they named the film and character Alucarda, the name is clearly "Dracula" spelled backwards. There were no vampire elements in this film except for one scene where someone is bitten.There is plenty of nudity and 70's unshaved pubes in this film. I was hoping for some hot girl-on-girl action but even that part was pretty dull and lame.The ending picks up a bit but overall this was a big disappointment. For this and the gypsy/Burger King, I won't totally pan this film.
VERDICT: 1 Soul Clap
Labels: Movie Reviews
This entry was posted
on Wednesday, December 13, 2006 at 7:08 PM.
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