MOVIE REVIEW:Blood Sucking Freaks 1976
There comes a time when a movie is so over the top even this eccentric diva is "shook". I've seen a lot of of freaky, gory shit in my time..and believe me y'all I watch TONS of films when I allot time for it. But THIS movie takes the cake. It has even taken me a couple of days to write a review on it because I had trouble trying to convey what I saw on screen into words. Let me present you with Blood Sucking Freaks. The central characters in this film are Master Sardu and his crazed midget sidekick Ralphus, who's a dead ringer for John Oates from Hall and Oates. Master Sardu runs an off-Broadway theater which features live acts of torture, murder, and any other despicable act you can think of. The unaware audience believes that is all staged, but fear you not my dear friends..the "performers" are really being murdered. The performers are mostly women who have been kidnapped by lil Ralphus and held in a cage like animals who live off raw meat. Master Sardu's sideline gig where he makes the real coins is in white slavery..those who don't...um..perform are sold (lucky for them). Sardu is also heavily into S&M and in between shows, he likes to spend his time being beaten into oblivion by two gorgeous, nude sistas. The plot thickens when Sardu's staunchest critic, Creasy Silo tells him his show is crap and that he refuses to give the show any type of review. Sardu has Mr. Silo kidnapped and chained in his basement of horrors. And oh what horrors take place in this basement. Naked women are used as human dartboards, tables, body parts are chopped off as "prizes" in a twisted game of chess, sex with a corpse, oral sex with a decapitated head and brains being sucked out with a drinking straw. There is a "doctor" who visits the basement and performs "operations", trust me kiddos..this scene will make you give your dentist the "side eye". Basically the basement is a pleasure palace for sick muthafuckas. Sardu and Ralphus are like the Johnny Carson and Ed MacMahon of horror...they do these evil acts with such glee. Ralphus even has a signature dance that he does before and after he kills. This is a horror-comedy people trust me, I laughed and was completely horrified at the same time. Back to the film, Sardu's reason for the kidnapping of Creasy Silo is to make him watch and participate in his next masterpiece, a horror-ballet. To complete this mission, he kidnaps famous lead ballerina, Natasha D'Natalie who was in his audience the night the critic was there. Once trapped in the bowels of the basement of horrors, Natasha proves to be a strong-willed chickee who will not be taken in so easily. After a series of killings are performed in front of her, Natasha finally gives in and lets Master Sardu take control of her mind and body. Meanwhile, Natasha's boyfriend Tom, a star football player, is out on the hunt for his ladyfriend. He enlists the help of shady Detective Tucci, who is nuttier than a can of Planter's Peanuts his damn self. Natasha's performance in the horror-ballet is "killer" to say the least. Will Tom and Det. Tucci rescue Natasha or become victims themselves? Will sick ass Sardu and Ralphus meet the fate they so deserve? No Spoilers from me y'all. The ending scene is so fucking over the top...I'll just say that if you watch it you may never look at a hotdog the same way again.
The gore in this film is for the most part, very unrealistic so I really can't say that this not for the squeamish. Some of the acts that are committed in the film may not be suitable for all because it features various forms of brutality. Oh yeah...there is tittays and unshaved coochies a plenty. Eli Roth, the writer and director of Hostel has said this movie was his inspiration and there are various scenes from Blood Sucking Freaks that prove it.
VERDICT: 31/2 Souls Claps
Labels: Movie Reviews
This entry was posted
on Wednesday, August 16, 2006 at 11:10 AM.
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